ARTIFACTS OF HEALING // Homemade Halloween costumes may seem trivial, but for me they are another important testament to my healing. Fall weather, thinking creatively, and the energy to execute any idea were all challenges in the past.
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This year, though I thankfully have healed from most of that, on the way home from buying the supplies for these costumes, I was in a car accident. The crash totaled my car and landed me back in bed, plus loss of function requiring acupuncture and physical therapy.
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One well meaning friend said immediately after the accident, “I hope she stays in remission.” People – they are trying so hard to show their love, but their words are dumb. And it got to me for a second. An image flashed in my mind of that bag of Halloween costume supplies staying in the cabinet, untouched, indefinitely.
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But! What I was facing was THAT person’s fear. This is MY deal. And whatever happened with the costumes, I was steeled in my resolve – I KNOW how to heal. That’s what I’ve been doing for years. That’s what I teach others to do. I’ll do that. Again. And again. Heal-Ing is my jam.
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Healing is dancing the dance. Knowing how to listen. When to coax, when to flow. How to get out of your damn head because nothing good related to healing happens up there. How to be powerless, but not helpless. How to reframe every single thing so you are not the victim but you are also not in control.
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So I moved through excruciating pain after the accident and on the other side of the pain, I am okay. I don’t have any of my old chronic symptoms. I don’t. In fact, I’m going to tell you something that’s bizarre. As my neck was slamming backwards in the whiplash of the crash the strangest knowing popped in my head. “This is going to fix that old injury in my neck.”
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And it did. It didn’t feel like it for those three weeks when the inflammation was raging and my hands were so weak I kept dropping my fork after a few bites. But. My PT cannot believe my ability to heal. And for real, my neck! It’s all better!
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So these mermaids are my fav – they are the car accident that fixed my neck, healing forward, and my process in physical form with a shiny tail.
